Why Do People in Oklahoma File For Divorce?

Marta Ibanez, a psychologist who has spent 15 years counseling couples from Oklahoma, Arkansas, Kansas and Texas, specializes in sexual and couple therapy, has told Doctissimo what in her opinion are the leading causes of divorce among the couples that usually attend her therapy.

There are many stigmas regarding divorce. Myths or misconceptions are very common. For example, most people would assume that one party or another cheated, which is very common, but alto often, there are other issues which permeate the demise of the marriage. Divorcees often cite emotional damage or lack of support as a common thread. The 8 issues below are the most common:

Lack Of Communication

The lack of communication is the main reason why a couple goes to therapy, not only feel that they do not talk enough, but when they do, it seems that the message does not arrive correctly. It may be that the issuer does not know how to express himself clearly or that the receiver does not know how to listen, it is usually a mixture of the two, and the key is to assume that we have some responsibility.

We Think We're Too Good

The main idea is that we deserve something more than what our partner offers us. This feeling of dissatisfaction leads us to seek and therefore find only the negative points of our partner and thus confirm our theory, we are better than her. Trying to see the good side of the person we have chosen instead of entering a loop of negativity can change the perspective.

We Feel Trapped

We have a sense of suffocation derived from the idea that we are not moving forward and our partner is at fault. We have the feeling that it does not let us grow and develop, we can not do everything we want to do, everything seems duties, and we never do anything that we wish to, we do not go out alone, we do not see our friends, we would like to live in another country ... A thousand examples that illustrate that we blame our partner for our lack of initiative.

Expectations Are Not Met

When a relationship begins with the expectations of both floating on the couple, the two have an idea of ​​how their lives will be together, how they will be in 10 years and do not meet those expectations. Of course, each one has some, and then life takes us through other paths. Also, these expectations may change over time.

Different Personalities

At first, the different attracts and intrigues, but it is proven that the couples that have more things in common are the ones that work best. This can be extended to cultural differences, and it is widespread for us to find the culture of the other very exotic, but once you live together, those differences can be weighty and are an essential cause of divorce.

Lack Of Trust

Whether as a result of infidelity or simply because the relationship has already begun with this lack of confidence, even though nothing has happened, this difficulty is carried forward to many stable couples. It breaks both the one who does not trust and the one who does not trust, who feels controlled and continually questioned. Trust in the other is a crucial issue for happiness as a couple.

Change Of Priorities

When that couple met, they had values ​​that have now changed. Generally, when it is a problem it is because they only changed the benefits ​​of one of the members of the couple or because, in rare cases, they change the values ​​of the two, but in different directions. This is something natural; we are in continuous evolution and can not be avoided.


Apart from the lack of trust, the real problem is when one of the couples falls in love with another person. Here there is no turning of the page; we must end the relationship to start the new one. Although many people carry the two relationships in parallel and even end up choosing their spouse, breaking a marriage to start another relationship is one of the leading causes of divorce.

Where do People in Oklahoma Go to Get a Divorce?

Most people hire an attorney to get a divorce in Oklahoma. Having a lawyer represent ones interest is a critical component to ensuring ones rights are protected in a divorce. Increasingly, people are utilizing the services of a Divorce Mediator, a Paralegal, and a Document Preparation Specialist to finalize a divorce. When asked why, the most common denominator is cost. We interviewed the owner of www.expressuncontesteddivorce.com - a company that bridges the gap between all 3, what his take on divorce with a cheap route vs the traditional attorney route. We had called multiple entities, including a cheap Oklahoma Divorce Forms place ($75), a handful of Divorce Lawyers, as well as a Mediation Expert in OKC. Express was the only company that was happy to speak with us, so we thought we would share the results of that call.

We obtained the following insights:

  • Although Attorneys are present to protect rights, the fight that ensues can often times over shadow what is gained, and the cost associated can add up drastically
  • Free divorce forms get kicked back by the court- because they don't get specific enough
  • The courts don't want generic forms
  • Children benefit greatly from a mediated divorce in that the parents fight less which is ultimately better relationally
  • Most divorces in Oklahoma can be settled out of court if the couple will keep their eye on peace - rather than on marital possessions
  • Most litigated divorces can take over 6 months and even multiple years to complete
  • Most Uncontested Divorces can be finalized in as little as 10 days without kids, or 90 Days with kids in Oklahoma
  • Child Support cost seems to be the most common fighting point among litigants with children


We found the following resources online to aid you in your Oklahoma divorce search.

OKDHS Child Support Calculator

Oklahoma Supreme Court Network

Oklahoma County Court House

ExpressUncontestedDivorce (see above for site)

Oklahoma Legal Aid

Calm Waters Center for Children

Oklahoma State University Coparenting Class

Divorce From Abroad

If a person got married in Oklahomavalidly and then wants to get a divorce, but one or both of the people are outside of Chile, they can process the divorce from abroad through abroad court order or a power of attorney to the consulate of the country where you are living.

Once the mandate given to the consul is ready, the person or persons concerned should send it to their lawyer, along with any document that proves that they are living outside the country , such as an employment contract, a residence certificate, accounts of basic services, a copy of the identity card of the country in which it is located, and so on.

To know the address of the nearest consulate to your place of residence, you can visit the website of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

Outside of this process, you should also know what types of divorce exist in our legislation, as well as the deadlines required by law that has passed since the cessation of cohabitation to be able to divorce.

There are two types of divorce in our law:

  1. Separation Through Fault:

When by one of the spouses, that is, by the man or the woman, some conducts seriously violate the duties and obligations of marriage or the duties and responsibilities that are held about children in common. The conducts that give rise to this kind of divorce are the following:

Severe Physical Or Psychological Abuse Against The Spouse Or Children

The attack against the life of the spouse or children.

Severe and repeated breach of the duties of coexistence, relief, and fidelity. As the repeated abandonment of the typical home.

Homosexual Conduct Of One Of The Spouses.

Alcoholism or drug addiction that seriously prevents a harmonious coexistence between the spouses or between them and the children.

It is important to know that this type of divorce can only be requested by the spouse who is innocent and it must also be borne in mind that in order to proceed, these circumstances should make life in common unbearable and therefore the most healthy for the family is that they divorce. Here it is not required that any period has elapsed since the coexistence has ceased.

  1. Divorce For The Cessation Of Cohabitation:

This type of separation (by end of cohabitation ) is divided into 2:

Unilateral divorce: this proceeds only when one of the spouses wants to divorce, in which case he must sue the other to divorce. Here it must have been 3 years since the parties ceased coexistence.

Divorce Mutual Agreement: this proceeds when both spouses agree to divorce, and therefore must file the divorce petition jointly, without the need for one to sue the other. Here the term of 1 year is demanded since the parties ceased coexistence.

If you are abroad and want to sue for divorce from abroad, connect with a lawyer of MisAbogados.com to advise and represent you.

You might also be interested, before making the decision, to review our guide that explains everything about the divorce in Oklahoma(and when you are abroad).